Final draft

Most students of MCH may spend time to use SNS such as facebook. They update their picture, daily life and their feeling. Although students know that SNS is negative for their study, they still use SNS. SNS already dominated our life. This blogger is also one of SNS. Why SNS become strong in our life?

We every time feel happy or pleasure when friends pay attention to my updating. most people thought this is the reason that they use SNS. Especially, SNS is the important connector that can communicate with our friends (maybe new friends or girl, boyfriends) these days. However, according to online job site - albamon , many people feel lonely when they could not get the attention in SNS. Furthermore many think that SNS is waste of time (2014.08.10) . Above all,  it was proved that SNS plays a role as heckler in their relationship. So I suggest 'SNS ruins relationships'. It is my thesis.

 

 First, What is SNS? SNS is abbreviation of 'social network service'. 'Social network service' means 'the community services which share information, make more personal connections : Naver dictionary.

Summing-Up that I've researched is that First, people feel self-contentment and great power mentality when they use SNS. Furthermore, They use SNS to maintain their acquaintanceship. However, 77% of university students feel 'SNS is waste of time' although 82% of college students are using SNS (They use SNS one hour for one day) (online job site - albamon ,2014.08.11). They also feel lonely when there is no attention to their updating contrariwise. From this research, I can argue that 'SNS ruins relationships' certainly.

 

 SNS gives people a sense of alienation rather than better relationship. According to many articles, people feel lonely when they use SNS. How? People find new friends and they share their daily. It is unbelievable. However, many people feel this phenomenon. Furthermore, many experts suggest that SNS causes sense of deprivation

In Busan university, 황성욱·박재진 professors investigated about 'the psychological problem of facebook'. The result was that people have stress that was made by the light relationship that is maintained only in facebook. Furthermore, they have feeling of loss when they watch embellished daily of friends. Lastly, they also have pressure that they must update their daily falsely ('Busan University , 2014 . 04. 01).

In real case, Mr Lee (30 years old, live in Ulsan) removed all Social network services which he used. He told that "When I use SNS, all people who are SNS friends look like happy except me." , "Friends update their new car pictures, trip pictures and these make me have a sense of inferiority.."

a department of neuropsychiatry doctor mentioned that "SNS makes people have complex and compared consciousness."

 SNS is the place of instigation.

This phenomenon may implant the negative prejudice to friends, politician and so on. Therefore, it rather spoils relationship. According to one of the article about SNS, Lee moon one who is the editor-in-chief of 'media watch' mentioned that "twitter is getting extreme to instigate rumor, political false truth very artistically and extremely". Furthermore, he said "Although twitter is small social network service, through celebrities, it functions as secondary article production factory and it means twitter functions as issuing system for a political struggle."

The users of twitter are about 60,000 and about 10,000 users are using twitter in quality. So it was surprised that twitter is used as issuing system. It implies that SNS gives negative prejudice to the relationship. In my case, sometimes my MCH friends update inflammatory writing to attack his or her other friends.

 Moreover, SNS spoils real relationships offline.

In real case, it is a common situation that your facebook friends cut relationship between you and he or her. They said that because he or she acts so friendly only in facebook.'

Furthermore, people said that they don't like SNS friends who share their depression, rage and so on although these things are important to people who want to share their emotion with friends.

Like these cases, rather SNS activity can spoil real relationship. According to result of the public survey of 'the America character and social psychology association' , people feel unhappy when they watch friends' good news through SNS.

Furthermore, in Haverford college, one experts said the more we update our daily too much, the more our friends think you are rebarbative.

This result implies that we must check our SNS life if we want to maintain a good relationship in offline life.

 

 I concede that SNS may be easier to meet friends rather than offline. Regardless of age, meticulosity, place and time they can meet easily. It means SNS is the best place to meet your friends. However, too many activities on SNS spoil your relationship. Already I mentioned many evidences that prove that SNS ruins your offline-relationship if you do too much SNS. It means that  usability rather spoils your relationship. Therefore SNS is not easier to meet friends.
Furthermore, SNS is the best place where it implants wrong prejudice. In Korea, it is also easy to watch that many people update wrong information such as rumors about their friends. Because young people believe the information that is updated in SNS easily, wrong information can cause bad results. According to one article, is was proved that an outcast in SNS more tries to commit suicide. 
It also tell that SNS is not good to meet your friends. 
 

To you, maybe it doesn't matter whether SNS has negative effects because SNS already dominated your life. However, we must know how SNS can be dangerous. If we don't know about the effect of SNS, our relationships will be faced with dispute or alienation. It is the reason that I chose this topic. We must know that SNS can adversely affect people to maintain their relationship'  If you read my essay and keep in mind what this essay argue, you can do SNS more healthily. Furthermore, the culture of SNS will be fine. 

   
Reference

 

Kim Tae Seon . 2014. 8. 10 / 77% of university students feel “SNS is waste of time”

http://www.daejeontoday.com/news/articleView.html?idxno=330514
 

Kim Dong Il 2014. 8. 11 / 82% of college students "are using SNS "

http://www.jemin.com/news/articleView.html?idxno=340698
 

Kim Uoo Ram 2014. 5. 21 college students use SNS (one hour for one day)

http://www.etoday.co.kr/news/section/newsview.php?idxno=918311
 

Lee Kwang Ho 2014. 9. 01 / rather They feel lonely through SNS.

http://www.ilyosisa.co.kr/news/articleView.html?idxno=69058
 

Im Chang gue 2014. 7. 4 / If there is no attention, they feel pain

http://www.mediapen.com/news/articleView.html?idxno=39702
 

Choi seon woong 2014 .4  / The reason - using SNS

http://navercast.naver.com/magazine_contents.nhn?rid=1103&contents_id=52743
 

Kim Hea mi / Nick  2014 . 4 / SNS makes us lose real friends.

http://navercast.naver.com/magazine_contents.nhn?rid=2026&rid=&contents_id=63250
 

Seo bo hyun 2014. 04. 01 . SNS gives people a sense of alienation

http://www.ulsan-news.com/sub_read.html?uid=11502&section=sc15&section2=%BF%EF%BB%EANews

Kyunghyang Shinmun 2013. 06. 24 / SNS is used to  incited
http://news.khan.co.kr/kh_news/khan_art_view.html?artid=201306241800021&code=940401

Research 5 - SNS rather makes a sense of alienation

SNS rather makes a sense of alienation
[ I can't sure that the word 'rather' is used properly in my title.]

http://www.ulsan-news.com/sub_read.html?uid=11502&section=sc15&section2=%BF%EF%BB%EANews

My Topic:

'SNS can not help people to maintain their relationship'

What I hope to learn from this source:

I need the reasons that SNS is not good for relationship with friends. So I find this resource.

I want to learn the negative effects of SNS for relationship.

 

Notes:

they have feeling of loss when they watch embellished daily of friends.
 
1. In real case, Mr Lee (30 years old, live in Ulsan) removed all Social network services which he used. He told that "When I use SNS, all people who are SNS friends look like happy except me." , "Friends update their new car pictures, trip pictures and these make me have a sense of inferiority.."
 
2. A department of neuropsychiatry doctor mentioned that "SNS makes people have complex and compared consciousness."

3.In Busan university, 황성욱·박재진 professors investigated about 'the psychological problem of facebook'. The result was that people have stress that was made by the light relationship that is maintained only in facebook. Furthermore, they have feeling of loss when they watch embellished daily of friends. Lastly, they also have pressure that they must update their daily falsely.
 

Final Thoughts:

I found one example and two mentions of experts.
Lastly, without doubt I'm sure that SNS makes people poor.
There are many data of experts In korea and other nations.
Hmm.. I.. think the problems of SNS are quite serious. I think people are not ready to accept Social Network Service correctly.
 

Research 4 - SNS makes people pay no attention to real friends

pay no attention to real friends

http://navercast.naver.com/magazine_contents.nhn?rid=2026&rid=&contents_id=63250

My Topic:

'SNS can not help people to maintain their relationship'

What I hope to learn from this source:

I need the reasons that SNS is not good for relationship with friends. So I find this resource.

I want to learn the negative effects of SNS for relationship!!!!!

Notes:

1.  According to result of the public survey of 'the America character and social psychology association' , people feel unhappy when they watch friends' good news through SNS.
2. In Haverford college, one experts said the more we update our daily too much, the more our friends think you are rebarbative.

Final Thoughts:

Although there were only two evidences, these are very objective data!!!
I'm sure that these data will help me to confirm my conclusion is right!!

From this article, the negative effects of SNS become certain.

 

Research 3 - People do SNS because of maintaining their relationship.

7. The reason - using SNS

http://navercast.naver.com/magazine_contents.nhn?rid=1103&contents_id=52743

My Topic:
'SNS can not help people to maintain their relationship'

What I hope to learn from this source:
For my 'concede' part, I surely needed the evidence that People use SNS for their relationship.
this source firmly show what I wanted.

Notes:

[In this notes, 'people' means 'who are useing SNS']

1. About 37%/ of people use SNS for maintaining their offline-relationship
2. About 22% of people use SNS for making their personal place.
3. About 21% of people use SNS for information.
4. About 12% of people use SNS for finding new personal connections 
5. About 5% of people use SNS for sightseeing of other people's place.
6. About 3% of people use SNS for engaging in popular voice

Final Thoughts:

This source shows that about 57% of people use SNS because of the social reationship.
Therefore, I achieved my purpose [ I needed the evidence that people use SNS for their relationship.].

After I read this article, I thought that I also use facebook for those reasons. However, I never feel that my relationship became better after I started facebook.

I realized that.. SNS does not have any effects for improving relationship!


  

Research 2 - Problems With Social Networking and Teens

Source: Problems With Social Networking and Teens
http://www.life123.com/parenting/tweens-teens/social-networking/issues-with-teens-and-social-networking.shtml

My Topic:
'SNS can not help people to maintain their relationship'

What I hope to learn from this source:
I want to find facts that might help me develop my topic. It means that I want to fine some problems with SNS such as facebook..

Notes:

 Recent research from the Pew Internet Project suggests that 93% of Americans from ages 12 to 17 use the Internet, and 55% of those teens use social networks.

1. Most social networking sites are open to all, especially MySpace, which means that your teen could be exposed to harassment
2. Cyber-bullying and harassment are most often perpetrated by other teens and tend to happen most to older girls and to teens of either gender who have a strong online presence.
3.  teens may become targets of pedophiles. when they do SNS
4. The anonymity of some social networking sites makes it easy for unscrupulous people to target young teens and engage them in harmful conversations.

Final Thoughts:

This source show the problems with SNS. However, There were few informations about 'relationship'. This source mainly tells me that 'SNS can be used as the criminal place.
Therefore, I think that I will use only number 2 (Cyber-bullying and harassment are most often perpetrated by other teens and tend to happen most to older girls and to teens of either gender who have a strong online presence. ) 

when I mention that SNS spoils relationship with friends.

 

 

Research 1 - 77% of university students feel “SNS is waste of time”

Source: 77% of university students feel “SNS is waste of time”
http://www.daejeontoday.com/news/articleView.html?idxno=330514

My Topic:
'SNS can not help people to maintain their relationship'

What I hope to learn from this source:
I have to prove that SNS do not helpful for relationship. Therefore, I need the evidence that Actually Students who use SNS mostly feel that SNS is not good for them.

Notes:

1. Eight students of Ten students responed that SNS is waste of time.
2. Students have burden when they have their eyes on comment or 'like' .
3. Students also have burden when they use SNS because it spend time too much
4. Students are stressed when they comprise the amount of comments with their friends. 

 

Final Thoughts:

This source was used for my essay. It was very helpful. From this resource, I realized that students already know that SNS has not good effects. So I thought that the reason that students do SNS although they know that SNS is not good is because they don't know why it is bad. For this reason, I firmly decided to prove the bad effects of SNS to help people who can't stop doing SNS.

The fixed things in second draft

- I fixed the Grammar and words.
- I fixed the conclusion because it was not good.
- I think Narration is good!

-! I did researches newly!
  ( I read mostly korean articles because the problems of SNS are hot issue in Korea, so there are many and rich information. Please understand me.)

 

Second Draft

 Most students of MCH may spend time to use SNS such as facebook. They update their picture, daily life and their feeling. Although students know that SNS is negative for their study, they still use SNS. SNS already dominated our life. This blogger is also one of SNS. Why SNS become strong in our life?

We every time feel happy or pleasure when friends pay attention to my updating. most people thought this is the reason that they use SNS. Especially, SNS is the important connector that can communicate with our friends (maybe new friends or girl, boyfriends) these days. However, according to various article, many people feel lonely when they could not get the attention in SNS. Furthermore many think that SNS is waste of time. Above all, it is recovered that SNS plays a role as heckler in their relationship. So I suggest 'SNS can not help people to maintain their relationship'. It is my thesis.

 

First, I will inform the definition of SNS to make readers understand 'SNS‘. Second, I will summarize the research I've done. What is SNS? SNS is abbreviation of 'social network service'. 'Social network service' means 'the community services which share information, make more personal connections.

Summing-Up that I've researched is that First, people feel self-contentment and great power mentality when they use SNS. Furthermore, They use SNS to maintain their acquaintanceship. However, 77% of university students feel 'SNS is waste of time' although 82% of college students are using SNS (They use SNS one hour for one day). They also feel lonely when there is no attention to their updating contrariwise. For these research, I can argue that 'SNS can not help people to maintain their relationship' certainly.

 

I will start by examining how SNS give people a sense of alienation rather than better relationship. According to many articles, people feel lonely when they use SNS. How? People find new friends and they share their daily. It is unbelievable. However, many people feel this phenomenon. Furthermore, many experts suggest that SNS causes sense of deprivation

In Busan university, 황성욱·박재진 professors investigated about 'the psychological problem of facebook'. The result was that people have stress that was made by the light relationship that is maintained only in facebook. Furthermore, they have feeling of loss when they watch embellished daily of friends. Lastly, they also have pressure that they must update their daily falsely.

In real case, Mr Lee (30 years old, live in Ulsan) removed all Social network services which he used. He told that "When I use SNS, all people who are SNS friends look like happy except me." , "Friends update their new car pictures, trip pictures and these make me have a sense of inferiority.."

a department of neuropsychiatry doctor mentioned that "SNS makes people have complex and compared consciousness."

I will examine SNS is the place of instigation.

This phenomenon may implant the negative prejudice to friends, politician and so on. Therefore, it rather spoils relationship. According to one of the article about SNS, Lee moon one who is the editor-in-chief of 'media watch' mentioned that "twitter is getting extreme to instigate rumor, political false truth very artistically and extremely". Furthermore, he said "Although twitter is small social network service, through celebrities, it functions as secondary article production factory and it means twitter functions as issuing system for a political struggle."

The users of twitter are about 60,000 and about 10,000 users are using twitter in quality. So it was surprised that twitter is used as issuing system. It implies that SNS gives negative prejudice to the relationship. In my case, sometimes my MCH friends update inflammatory writing to attack his or her other friends.

I will examine SNS ,rather, spoils the real relationship (offline relationship).

In real case, it is a common situation that your facebook friends cut relationship between you and he or her. They said that because he or she acts so friendly only in facebook.'

Furthermore, people said that they don't like SNS friends who share their depression, rage and so on although these things are important to people who want to share their emotion with friends.

Like these cases, rather SNS activity can spoil real relationship. According to result of the public survey of 'the America character and social psychology association' , people feel unhappy when they watch friends' good news through SNS.

Furthermore, in Haverford college, one experts said the more we update our daily too much, the more our friends think you are rebarbative.

This result implies that we must check our SNS life if we want to maintain a good relationship in offline life.

 

I concede that SNS may be easier to meet friends rather than offline. Regardless of age, meticulosity, place and time they can meet easily. It means SNS is the best place to meet your friends. However, too many activities on SNS spoil your relationship. Already I mentioned many evidences. This usability rather spoils your relationship. You will lose your real friends if you concentrate on online friends. Furthermore, SNS is the best place where it implants wrong prejudice.

 


To you, maybe it doesn't matter whether SNS has negative effects because SNS already dominated your life. However, we must know how SNS can be dangerous. If we don't know about the effect of SNS, our relationships will be faced with dispute or alienation. It is the reason that I chose this topic. We must know that SNS can adversely affect people to maintain their relationship'  If you read my essay and keep in mind what this essay argue, you can do SNS more healthily. Furthermore, the culture of SNS will be fine. 

    

 

1. 77% of university students feel “SNS is waste of time”

http://www.daejeontoday.com/news/articleView.html?idxno=330514

2. 82% of college students "are using SNS "

http://www.jemin.com/news/articleView.html?idxno=340698

3. college students use SNS (one hour for one day)

http://www.etoday.co.kr/news/section/newsview.php?idxno=918311

4. rather They feel lonely through SNS.

http://www.ilyosisa.co.kr/news/articleView.html?idxno=69058

5. If there is no attention, they feel pain

http://www.mediapen.com/news/articleView.html?idxno=39702

7. The reason - using SNS

http://navercast.naver.com/magazine_contents.nhn?rid=1103&contents_id=52743

pay no attention to real friends

http://navercast.naver.com/magazine_contents.nhn?rid=2026&rid=&contents_id=63250

a sense of alienation

http://www.ulsan-news.com/sub_read.html?uid=11502&section=sc15&section2=%BF%EF%BB%EANews

First draft

 Most students of MCH may spend time to use SNS such as facebook. They update their picture , daily life and their feeling. Althought students know that SNS is negative for their study, they still use SNS. SNS already dominated our life. This blogger is also one of SNS. Why SNS become strong in our life?

We everytime feel happy or pleasure when friends pay attention to my updating and most people thought this is the reason that they use SNS. Especially, SNS is important connector that can communicate with our friends (maybe new friends or girl, boy friends) these days. However, according to various article, many people feel lonely when they could not get attention in SNS. Furthermore many think that SNS is waste of time. Above all, it is recovered that SNS plays a role as heckler in their relationship. So I suggest 'SNS can not help people to maintain their relationship'. that is, It is my thesis.

 

First, I will inform the definition of SNS to make readers understand 'SNS‘. Second, I will summarize the reasearch I've done. What is SNS? SNS is abbreviation of 'social network service'. 'Social network service' means 'the community services which share information, make more personal connections.

summing-up which I've researched is that First, people feel self-contentment and great power mentality when they use SNS. Furthermore, They use SNS to maintain their acquaintanceship. However, 77% of university students feel 'SNS is waste of time' although 82% of college students are using SNS (They use SNS one hour for one day). They also feel lonely when there is no attention to their updating contrariwise. For these res earch, I can argue that 'SNS can not help people to maintain their relationship' certainly.

 

I will start by examining how SNS give people a sense of alienation rather than better relationship. According to many articles, people feel lonely when they use SNS. How? people find new friends and they discuss policy and share their daily. It is unbelievable. However, many people feel this phenomenon and many experts suggest that SNS causes sense of deprivation

In Busan university, 황성욱·박재진 professors investigated about 'the psychological problem of facebook'. The result was that people have stress that was made by the light relationship that is maintained only in facebook. Furthermore, they have feeling of loss when they watch embellished daily of friends. Lastly, they also have pressure that they must update their daily falsely.

In real case, Mr Lee (30 years old, live in ulsan) removed all Social network services which he used. He told "When I use SNS, all people who is SNS friends are look like happy except me." , "Friends update their new car pictures, trip pictures and these make me have a sense of inferiority.."

a department of neuropsychiatry doctor mentioned that "SNS make people have complex and compared consciousness"

I will examine SNS is the place of instigation.

This phenomenon may implant the negative prejudice to friends, politician and so on. Therefore, it rather spoil relationship. According to one of article about SNS, Lee moon won who is the editor-in-chief of 'media watch' mentioned that "twitter is getting extreme to instigate rumor, political false truth very autistically and extremly". Furthermore, he said "Although twitter is small social network service, through celebrities, it functions as secondary article production factory and it means twitter functions as issuing system for a political struggle"

The users of twitter are about 60,000 and about 10,000 users are using twitter in quality. So it was surprised that twitter is used as issuing system. It implies that SNS gives negative prejudice to relationship. In my case, sometimes my MCH friends update inflammatory writing to attack his or her other friends.

I will examine SNS ,rather, spoils the real relationship (offline relatinship).

In real case, it is common situation that your facebook friends cut relationship between you and he or her. They say 'because you act so friendly only in online.'

Furthermore, people said that they don't like SNS friends who share their depression, rage and so on although these things are important to people who want to share their emotion with friends.

Like this, rather SNS activity can spoil real relationship. According to result of public survey of 'the America character and social psychology association' , people feel unhappy when they watch friends' good news through SNS.

Furthermore, in haverford college, one experts said the more we update our daily too much, the more our friends think you are rebarbative.

This result implies that we must check our SNS life if we want to maintain good relationship in offline life.

 

I concede that SNS may be easier to meet friends rather than offline. regardless of age, meticulosity, place and time , they can meet easily and it means SNS is the best place to meet your friends. However, too many activities on SNS spoil your relationship. already I mentioned many evidences. This usability rather spoil you relationship. You will lose your real friends if you concentrate on online friends. Furthermore, SNS is the best place where it implants wrong prejudice.

 

I will close with a summary of my previous points, Social network service rather spoils the real relationship (offline relatinship) and SNS is the place of instigation, so it implant the wrong prejudice about your friends or famous person. Furthermore, SNS can make people pay no attention to offline friends. Through this reasons, I argue that SNS is harmful to maintain relationship.

 

 

 

1. 77% of university students feel “SNS is waste of time”

http://www.daejeontoday.com/news/articleView.html?idxno=330514

2. 82% of college students "are using SNS "

http://www.jemin.com/news/articleView.html?idxno=340698

3. college students use SNS (one hour for one day)

http://www.etoday.co.kr/news/section/newsview.php?idxno=918311

4. rather They feel lonely through SNS.

http://www.ilyosisa.co.kr/news/articleView.html?idxno=69058

5. If there is no attention, they feel pain

http://www.mediapen.com/news/articleView.html?idxno=39702

7. The reason - using SNS

http://navercast.naver.com/magazine_contents.nhn?rid=1103&contents_id=52743

pay no attention to real friends

http://navercast.naver.com/magazine_contents.nhn?rid=2026&rid=&contents_id=63250

a sense of alienation

http://www.ulsan-news.com/sub_read.html?uid=11502&section=sc15&section2=%BF%EF%BB%EANews

Conclusion (I need to fix it)

I will close with a summary of my previous points, Social network service rather spoils the real relationship (offline relatinship) and SNS is the place of instigation, so it implant the wrong prejudice about your friends or famous person. Furthermore, SNS can make people pay no attention to offline friends. Through this reasons, I argue that SNS is harmful to maintain relationship.

 

Refutation and Concession of first draft

I concede that SNS may be easier to meet friends rather than offline. regardless of age, meticulosity, place and time , they can meet easily and it means SNS is the best place to meet your friends. However, too many activities on SNS spoil your relationship. already I mentioned many evidences. This usability rather spoil you relationship. You will lose your real friends if you concentrate on online friends. Furthermore, SNS is the best place where it implants wrong prejudice.

 

The Confirmation of first draft

I will start by examining how SNS give people a sense of alienation rather than better relationship. According to many articles, people feel lonely when they use SNS. How? people find new friends and they discuss policy and share their daily. It is unbelievable. However, many people feel this phenomenon and many experts suggest that SNS causes sense of deprivation

In Busan university, 황성욱·박재진 professors investigated about 'the psychological problem of facebook'. The result was that people have stress that was made by the light relationship that is maintained only in facebook. Furthermore, they have feeling of loss when they watch embellished daily of friends. Lastly, they also have pressure that they must update their daily falsely.

In real case, Mr Lee (30 years old, live in ulsan) removed all Social network services which he used. He told "When I use SNS, all people who is SNS friends are look like happy except me." , "Friends update their new car pictures, trip pictures and these make me have a sense of inferiority.."

a department of neuropsychiatry doctor mentioned that "SNS make people have complex and compared consciousness"

I will examine SNS is the place of instigation.

This phenomenon may implant the negative prejudice to friends, politician and so on. Therefore, it rather spoil relationship. According to one of article about SNS, Lee moon won who is the editor-in-chief of 'media watch' mentioned that "twitter is getting extreme to instigate rumor, political false truth very autistically and extremly". Furthermore, he said "Although twitter is small social network service, through celebrities, it functions as secondary article production factory and it means twitter functions as issuing system for a political struggle"

The users of twitter are about 60,000 and about 10,000 users are using twitter in quality. So it was surprised that twitter is used as issuing system. It implies that SNS gives negative prejudice to relationship. In my case, sometimes my MCH friends update inflammatory writing to attack his or her other friends.

I will examine SNS ,rather, spoils the real relationship (offline relatinship).

In real case, it is common situation that your facebook friends cut relationship between you and he or her. They say 'because you act so friendly only in online.'

Furthermore, people said that they don't like SNS friends who share their depression, rage and so on although these things are important to people who want to share their emotion with friends.

Like this, rather SNS activity can spoil real relationship. According to result of public survey of 'the America character and social psychology association' , people feel unhappy when they watch friends' good news through SNS.

Furthermore, in haverford college, one experts said the more we update our daily too much, the more our friends think you are rebarbative.

This result implies that we must check our SNS life if we want to maintain good relationship in offline life.

Narration of First draft

First, I will inform the definition of SNS to make readers understand 'SNS‘. Second, I will summarize the reasearch I've done. What is SNS? SNS is abbreviation of 'social network service'. 'Social network service' means 'the community services which share information, make more personal connections.

summing-up which I've researched is that First, people feel self-contentment and great power mentality when they use SNS. Furthermore, They use SNS to maintain their acquaintanceship. However, 77% of university students feel 'SNS is waste of time' although 82% of college students are using SNS (They use SNS one hour for one day). They also feel lonely when there is no attention to their updating contrariwise. For these res earch, I can argue that 'SNS can not help people to maintain their relationship' certainly.

Introduction of First draft

1.Attention grabber

Most students of MCH may spend time to use SNS such as facebook. They update their picture , daily life and their feeling. Althought students know that SNS is negative things for their study, they still use SNS.

2. Explains the topic -
SNS already dominate our life. This blogger is also one of SNS. Why SNS become strong in our life?

We everytime feel happy or pleasure when friends pay attention to my updating and most people thought this is reason that they use SNS. Especially, SNS is important connector that can communicate with our friends (maybe new friends or girl, boy friends) these days. However, according to various article, many people feel lonely when they could not get attention. Furthermore many think that SNS is waste of time.

3. My thesis -
 Therefore, I suggest 'SNS Never help people to maintain their relationship'. that is, It is my thesis.

 

Research - 5 Problems with Social Networking in the Workplace

Source:

5 Problems with Social Networking in the Workplace

http://www.information-management.com/specialreports/2009_165/social_networking_media-10016208-1.html

My Topic: 'SNS can not help people to maintain their relationship'

Notes: I need the benefits of SNS because when I write refutation, I need to concede the effective things of SNS 

Final Thoughts:

These effective things of SNS are not.. hmm.. marketing is not ..
...
SNS that I am saying is Facebook or cacao story!!


Note ) 1. Benefit of SNS
Expanding Market ResearchPersonal Touch
Improve Your Reputation
Low-Cost Marketing

 

Author:David Kelleher

Source:http://www.information-management.com/specialreports/2009_165/social_networking_media-10016208-1.html

We live in a world where technology has changed the way people communicate, the way they are informed and how they do business. Traditional social networks have expanded from a few dozen acquaintances to hundreds of friends, friends of friends, connections and followers. We live in a world where people would rather communicate by sending a text message from their mobile phone, post comments on their favorite online network or send a short Tweet to inform all their friends that they have just got out of bed or they are out to dinner.

The growth of social networking platforms has been phenomenal. Millions of people around the world with access to the Internet are members of one or more social networks. They have a permanent online presence where they create profiles, share photos, share their thoughts with friends and spend hours catching up with what their hundreds of friends are doing with their lives.

Give most people access to the Internet and they will spend the next hour checking their email, their Facebook profile, their MySpace Web page, updating their Twitter account and their LinkedIn account. And it doesn’t happen only once a day. The time spent using social networking applications is one reason why many businesses are reluctant to allow employees to use sites like Facebook, MySpace and LinkedIn during office hours. Add the time spent on nonworkrelated browsing, and employers have a point. At the same time, however, businesses are starting to appreciate that social networking has its advantages, and there are many companies that have adopted social networking as another vehicle to gain a better presence online and a wider audience.

The Benefits

Expanding Market Research

Social networking sites give businesses a fantastic opportunity to widen their circle of contacts. Using Facebook, for example, a small business can target an audience of thousands without much effort or advertising. With a good company profile and little in terms of costs, a new market opens up, as do the opportunities to do business.

Personal Touch

Social networks allow organizations to reach out to select groups or individuals and to target them personally. Businesses can encourage their customers to become connections or friends, offering special discounts that would be exclusive to online contacts. This personal touch is not only appreciated but may give the business access to that customer’s own network of contacts.

Improve Your Reputation

Building strong social networks can help a business to improve its reputation with as little advertising as possible. Social networks can boost your image as thought leaders in the field and customers/contacts start to acknowledge your business as reliable and an excellent source of information/products that suit their requirements.

Low-Cost Marketing

Once social networks have become established and people become familiar with the brand, businesses can use the sites or applications to implement marketing campaigns, announce special offers, make important announcements and direct interested people to the specific Web sites. It is mostly free advertising, and the only cost to the business is the time and effort required to maintain the network and the official Web site.

The Concerns

Social networking sites are applications and, as such, are generally not a problem for organizations. It is the people who use them that are a cause for concern. Social networkers, if one can call them so, are the root of five problems for an organization that allows social networking at work.

Productivity

One reason why organizations on social networking in the workplace is the fact that employees spend a great deal of time updating their profiles and sites throughout the day. If every employee in a 50-strong workforce spent 30 minutes on a social networking site every day, that would work out to a loss of 6,500 hours of productivity in one year! Although this may be a generalization, organizations look very carefully at productivity issues, and 25 hours of non-productive work per day does not go over well with management. When you factor in the average wage per hour you get a better (and decisive) picture.

There is also an effect on company morale. Employees do not appreciate colleagues spending hours on social networking sites (and others) while they are functioning to cover the workload. The impact is more pronounced if no action is taken against the abusers.

Resources

Although updates from sites like Facebook or LinkedIn may not take up huge amounts of bandwidth, the availability of (bandwidth-hungry) video links posted on these sites creates problems for IT administrators. There is a cost to Internet browsing, especially when high levels of bandwidth are required.

Viruses and Malware

This threat is often overlooked by organizations. Hackers are attracted to social networking sites because they see the potential to commit fraud and launch spam and malware attacks. There are more than 50,000 applications available for Facebook (according to the company) and while FaceBook may make every effort to provide protection against malware, these third-party applications may not all be safe. Some have the potential to be used to infect computers with malicious code, which in turn can be used to collect data from that user’s site. Messaging on social networking sites is also a concern, and the Koobface worm is just one example of how messages are used to spread malicious code and worms.

Social Engineering

Social engineering is becoming a fine art and more and more people are falling victim to online scams that seem genuine. This can result in data or identity theft. Users may be convinced to give personal details such as Social Security numbers, employment details and so on. By collecting such information, data theft becomes a serious risk. On the other hand, people have a habit of posting details in their social networking profiles. While they would never disclose certain information when meeting someone for the first time, they see nothing wrong with posting it online for all to see on their profile, personal blog or other social networking site account. This data can often be mined by cybercriminals.

Employers must be on the lookout for information that their employees may post, as this may have an impact on the company. People often post messages without thinking through what they’ve have written. A seemingly innocuous message such as “I’m working this weekend because we’ve found a problem in our front-end product” may be a spur-of-the-moment comment but could raise concern among customers who may use that system, especially if the company handles confidential or financial detail.

Reputation and Legal Liability

At then time of authorship, there have been no major corporate lawsuits involving evidence from social networking sites. However, organizations need to watch for employees who may be commenting publicly about their employer. For example, one young employee wrote on her profile that her job was boring and soon received her marching orders from her boss. What if a disgruntled employee decided to complain about a product or the company’s inefficiencies in his or her profile? There are also serious legal consequences if employees use these sites and click on links to view objectionable, illicit or offensive content. An employer could be held liable for failing to protect employees from viewing such material. The legal costs, fines and damage to the organization’s reputation could be substantial.

To Ban or Not to Ban?

There is no simple solution to any of the above issues. While internal controls and technology can be used to an extent to control employee use of social networking tools, it is impossible to control what they are posting at home.

And this is the dilemma that many businesses face today: They feel the need to change and adopt these new methods of communication but they are greatly concerned that the disadvantages and possible repercussions are too serious to ignore. Every action, every minute spent online (and on social networking sites) may expose an organization to numerous security threats. While the subject of productivity increase is debatable, the security issues are not – they are all too real.

Where does that leave businesses?

They have three options:

1. Ban access to social networking sites (and access to Internet as well).
2. Set limits and restrictions on use.
3. Allow unmonitored access.

Banning access to social networking sites may be an optimal solution for some organizations, and one can see banks and government departments particularly keen on keeping the status quo. However, many smaller organizations may feel that taking a heavy-handed approach could be counterproductive, indicate a lack of trust in employees (probably justified to an extent) and is too restrictive.

On the other hand, you certainly do not want to give unfettered access to social networking sites. The best option may be to allow access to social networking sites while imposing limits (when these can be used, for how long, and by whom). Regardless of which option an organization may choose, they must ensure that the basic safeguards are in place:

1. Up-to-date anti-virus software,
2. A firewall and the ability to monitor the use of the Internet in general, and
3. Ability to monitor social networking sites in particular.

Striking a Balance

What is worrying about social networking sites is that they encourage people to give as much information about themselves as possible. Even the most prudent and well-meaning individuals can give away information they should not – the same applies to what is put online via company-approved social networking platforms.

At the same time, nearly everyone today (even senior managers) has their own online profile on a social networking site and like the idea that they can keep in touch with contacts and friends (and their employees) via that interface.

If a business is going to allow access to social networking sites, there are some basic tips to follow:

1. Restrict access. Give employees a breather and allow them to access social networking sites during their lunch break, before and after office hours. Web filtering software gives administrators the ability to implement time-based access to these and other sites.
2. Educate and train staff. This is very important. Most employees are not aware how their actions online can cause security issues for the organization. Tell them in a language they understand how a simple click on a link they receive or an application they download can result in malware infecting their machine and the network. Additionally, tell them not to click on suspicious links and to pay attention when giving out personal details online. Just because employees are clever enough to have an online profile does not mean they are technically savvy or that they have a high level of security awareness.
3. Set security and usage policies. Have all employees sign any policies related to the use of the Internet at work, access to social networking sites and what they are allowed to say or do during office hours. Monitoring of all Web activity is important, and employees should be aware that their actions are being recorded and that failure to adhere to company policy can result in disciplinary action and/or dismissal.

David Kelleher is communications and research analyst at GFI.

Research - Problems With Social Networking and Teens

Source:

Problems With Social Networking and Teens

http://www.life123.com/parenting/tweens-teens/social-networking/issues-with-teens-and-social-networking.shtml

My Topic: 'SNS can not help people to maintain their relationship'

Notes: I just want to know the negative things of SNS, and the result that can be seen teenagers who use SNS .Maybe it will help me to support my reasons.

Final Thoughts:

Actually, this article do not show about that there are many potential problems with social networking sites and the teenagers...



Note ) 1. Internet Project suggests that 93% of Americans from ages 12 to 17 use the Internet, and 55% of those teens use social networks.

2. Negative things )

publicizing private instant messages, text messages or e-mails

posting threatening messages

posting photos that will cause embarrassment

spreading rumors

 

Research Proposal

I want to research why many people use SNS too much.
Thesedays, many people enjoy using SNS and they waste their time for it.

Why?

My guiding questions are :
1. The reason that people use SNS
2. Psychology of people who update their feeling, pictures..
3. The difference between real life and SNS life.
4. The advantage of SNS and disadvantage of SNS.
My current thoughts are that 'SNS can not help people to maintain their relationship'

Research Question

1) Why people become depressed when they are alone?

2) Why Everyone must go through a stormy period of adolescence?

3) Why people prefer more expensive things?

4) Why people hate someone?

5) Is it true that SNS help people to maintain their relationship?